Monday, April 24, 2006

Drunk with Anticipation

A number of people have expressed curiosity about the Drunk with Wonder title. I took Drunk with Wonder directly from the title of one of my poems, which I wrote a few years ago. The poem, along with about 20 others, appears in the book. I have used these poems as a way of presenting the material in a different light, or perspective.

I trace my use of the term directly the mystical Sufi tradition of Rumi and especially Hafiz, who lived many hundreds of years ago in what was then known as Persia, in what is now Iran. They wrote so passionately, so eloquently, about being, “Drunk on God, drunk with the Beloved,” that I, along with countless others over the centuries, have many time been reduced to tears of joy when reading their poetry.

Anyhow, this intense, juicy passion of my connection with God/Goddess (actually there is no separation at all, and never was) lives at the core of my spirituality. I see so clearly now that my decades of near-constant drug and alcohol use were not merely how I numbed out (though I did plenty of that). Occasionally, I glimpsed, as through antique glass, hints of an infinitely loving Presence. That’s what I wanted, what I longed for, to feel connected with Source in a continuous wave of Bliss and Joy. For the longest time, however, I was absolutely convinced that that the only way for me to “get there” was by using substances. Even 15 years ago, I would have howled with laughter at the thought that one day I would feel all of the joy I could ever have imagined, and much, much more, without “using” anything but my conscious awareness in each eternal moment. And yet, here I am, just another bliss bunny hanging out in this amazing circus we call life. What a long, strange trip it’s been…. Wahoo!!!

So now I live, at least a good part of the time, in wonder. Drunk with Wonder, to be precise; so present with my heart and the God I Am that a simple bird song can bring me to tears of joy. Yes, dear ones, this is an enormously vulnerable, tender, innocent place, and I know full well how scary this world can seem to that part of us. And yet … here I am, inviting all who would journey into the holy mystery of the present moment along for the ride, to become Drunk with Wonder and dance together as we howl at the moon. I promise it will not be boring.

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