Hugs are Healing

It is clear that safe, caring physical touch is as important to our health as food, air or water. It's been amply demonstrated that newborns deprival of nurturing touch can actually die, even if their other physical needs are met. Sadly, in our culture physical touch, particularly in the form of hugs, is often seen as unsafe. In particular, men are discouraged from hugging each other lest it be seen as somehow "gay." (As though there's anything wrong with being gay. There isn't). Men and boys can be ridiculed, hurt or even killed just for being affectionate, loving people. To me, this is heartbreaking.

Hugs are a healthy, genuine way to express affection, friendship and love. It should never be wrong to hug a friend of either sex, or your child, brother, sister, father or mother. I have been in dozens of Challenge Days and other workshops where healthy, safe hugging is taught. It's amazing to me that we have to teach how to hug in the first place. But since there's so much unsafe touch in our culture, someone has to model safe touch, so we do.

Challenge Day teaches that we need three hugs a day just to get by, and that with six hugs a day we are doing pretty well, and that 12 hugs a day help us to really thrive. Numerous studies bear this out. Our bodies respond immediately to loving touch. Our heart rate goes down, along with our blood pressure. Our breathing slows, our muscles relax, and our immune systems pick up. Anyone who has spent much time hugging knows exactly what I'm talking about.

You'd think I would have hugging down, and in some ways, I do. I'm considered a world-class hugger by many who know me. I love hugs, both giving and getting. A little over a month ago, after our most recent Challenge Days here in Ukiah, my beloved wife and life partner JoAnn suggested that we begin to actually count how many hugs we gave each other every day, and make a concerted effort to get at least 12.

What soon became apparent was that, even though JoAnn retired from teaching in June, and we live, work and play together 24/7, 12 hugs a day were way more than we had been getting. We realized that, quite unintentionally, we had often been getting by on no more than three hugs a day (if that). JoAnn and I have been together for over 11 years. We adore each other. We're happier together then we've ever been in our lives. And still, these last weeks of going for 12 hugs a day have been amazing! We deserve more! And so do you.

Try this: become fully present with someone you trust (perhaps by taking a deep centering breath or three), ask for a hug, then melt into it with another deep breath. Go ahead and try it right now. Find someone to hug. If you're alone, take a deep breath, relax, and imagine getting a wonderful hug from someone whose hugs you truly adore, and make a mental note to get a hug as soon as you can. I guarantee that one of the surest ways to become drunk with wonder is to get 12 hugs a day. I dare you!

We Are Pure Energy

Quantum physics clearly demonstrates that energy, in one form or another, constitutes the most fundamental building blocks of the universe. To be even more precise, these building blocks, called quarks, or quanta, are actually the potential for a particular frequency, or state, or amount of energy. I use the word potential because we cannot measure the actual energy involved until we specifically observe it The universe, then, is a field of pure potential that is continually coalescing into the now moment. Click here for those interested in delving more deeply into this fascinating subject.

When we understand, or grok, this foundational truth, we can extrapolate this awareness to our own bodies and our moment to moment experience. Each of us is composed of trillions of cells. Each cell contains millions of molecules. Each molecule is made up of atoms (each water molecule contains two hydrogen atoms and one oxygen atom-- and up to 90% of our bodies are water). Hydrogen, the simplest and most abundant atom, contains a single proton surrounded by a single electron. An oxygen atom consists of a nucleus of eight protons surrounded by eight electrons. Each sub-atomic particle, such as a proton, are made up of quarks. Even though we think of ourselves as being composed of matter, the underlying truth is that at our core we're pure energy. In fact, if all of the energy stored in our countless trillions of atoms were simultaneously released, it would create an enormously powerful explosion rivaling a hydrogen bomb.

My point is that everything about us and the universe in which we live ultimately has to do with energy. Our thoughts are electrical impulses firing through the trillions of synapses in our brains. Our feelings, or emotions, are also, at their core, pure energy. Looked at one way, the pure, unconditional, infinitely precious love of God-As-Us beats our hearts and pours out into the world in unending waves of energy. These waves, like light, are refracted through our hearts into all the colors of the rainbow. The major energy centers of the body, sometimes called chakras, each have a color associated with them. Our first chakra, located near our genitals, is about survival, and is red. We associate red with anger, and in our culture anger is taught to be an inappropriate, or "bad" emotion. However, as we've seen, behind our stories and our labels this energy that we call anger is just energy. And like all energy, if it's blocked it creates problems.

It turns out that anger, like all of our emotions, is not bad. There are, of course, more and less appropriate ways to express anger. Many of us are most familiar with destructive choices such as violence against another, the environment, or even ourselves. Here's the magic: every feeling fully felt shifts! In order for there to be healing, there must be feeling. We must "move the energy" so that our chakras (energy centers) stay clear and free-flowing.

To sum up: feelings are energy. Blocking, or stuffing our feelings creates enormous short-circuits in our bodies. These short-circuits are the root cause of stress. Stress is the root of many of our most common diseases, including depression and addictions. To read an incredibly thorough account of how our environment, including our thoughts and feelings, impacts our bodies in a deeply physical way, read Bruce Lipton's The Biology of Belief. To read more about how our emotions create our experience and how the stories we tell ourselves create our emotions, read my book Drunk with Wonder.

What if Peace Broke Out?

I recently realized that I have a story (yes, I have lots of them, even though I've written at some length about letting go of our stories so that we may more fully embrace our spirituality). This particular story says that in order to be "spiritual" I need to stay above the fray of messy human affairs such as politics. The truth is, in spite of my best efforts, I do have strongly held views on any number of issues. I just usually keep them to myself. But something happened the other day that forced me to reconsider my position. A young politician named Barack Obama, who shows more promise to galvanize this country than anyone since JFK, spoke out on his belief (which he has been clear about all along) that the Iraq war is a huge mistake, based on faulty and even downright misleading "intelligence" - and about a president who was hell-bent on going to war and "getting" Saddam. Barrack further stated that he thought that the deaths of thousands of our servicemen and women, and tens of thousands of Iraquis, has been an essentially useless waste of precious resources. He was so immediately attacked and vilified that he felt it necessary to backpedal on this issue, that somehow by telling the truth he was dissing the troops.

Why are we, as a country, so terrified of the truth? The shadow knows. I'm quite sure Barack meant no disrespect, nor do I. That's not the point. The point is that a sad, terrified man and his minions essentially stole the presidential election in 2000 and then went about imposing their fear-based perspective on an all too-compliant public. So here it is: have our troops (not to mention Iraqi civilians) died uselessly? Well, that depends on your perspective. The folks over there were slaughtering each other 1,000 years ago, and may choose to do so for another 1,000 years. It's horrible, it's tragic, I fervently wish it wasn't so. Be that as it may, what have we accomplished? Besides wasting trillions of dollars, spilling uncounted barrels of blood for oil, ruining countless lives, nothing is really going to change until the people who live, fight and die there change. When are we going to learn that we cannot impose our will, no matter how much we spend and how many lives are lost? Over 58,000 servicemen and women died in Vietnam. Now, around 3,500 in Iraq. While that's not even 10% of the body count of Vietnam, each life that's cut down is a tragedy, doubly so because it was preventable.

Ultimately, every one of us is responsible for how our country behaves in the world. We must Be the Change we wish to see in the world. The change I wish to see is an end to war! An end to standing armies and to a culture that worships violence as noble. It's not. It's legalized murder. It ruins lives, and ruins countries. If I was face-to-face with someone who has lost a loved one in this war, I could only say, "I'm so sorry for your loss. I did not vote for this administration or this war. If it had been up to me your child would still be here."

All we're doing in Iraq is training a new generation of Jihadists to hate us. If we don't put a stop to this insanity, it will be our grandchildren dying next. Are you OK with that, or are you willing to stand up and be counted as someone who chooses "to study war no more"? I urge you to contact your congressperson and your senators to vote for establishing a Department of Peace and to vote for someone like Barack Obama in the next presidential election. If we're ever going to live in peace, we must practice peace. That does not mean that we must allow ourselves to be conquered, it simply means that we do not run around the globe starting wars. Bring the troops home now, before even more are senselessly slaughtered. It was a horrible mistake to start the war, it cannot be a mistake to end it. And just so your know, I love this country. I just love our sacred Mother Earth even more (and all of the people of the world). Check out Anna Qunidlen's latest "The Last Word" essay in Newsweek titled Tomorrow, Tomorrow for more on this perspective, which I know is shared by millions of thoughtful global citizens.

Only One of Us Here

On 1/22/07, THEODORE ROBINSON <thelawteam@prodigy.net> and Center for Inner Healing wrote:

Hi Steve and Skywatcher,

This is just a followup on our call this morning. It was a pleasure speaking with you. I've looked carefully at your site and enjoyed it, especially the questions and answer section. As I said during our call, the information squares with everything I've been studying for years now, but its said in a unique and wonderful manner.

Since you mentioned doing massage and Reiki, I just wanted to mention to you that if you haven't already heard about it, Emotional Freedom Technique EFT, might be something you'd be interested in. It would work well with your massage because its somewhat physical and it brings about big changes of mind and attitude in a big hurry as well. I also think it is very consistent with your overall approach.

You mentioned that you have a unique way of helping people evolve (unless I misunderstood you) and I'm interested in discovering more about that. Do you have it posted anywhere on your site? Or is it in a particular part of the book that I haven't noticed yet?

As I said, part of my reason for asking about this is because I'm interested in putting together a symposium of awakened beings who could come together for a weekend or other period and share their thoughts and methods with a large group of attendees. I know two or three others who would be wonderful candidates for such a weekend and would like to at least investigate the possibilities. So, since I'm not all that aware of what your unique technique is yet, perhaps you could let me know. This is just the beginning stage of planning, but its important to know what everyone has to offer so that we can balance the programming and provide a dynamic agenda and presentations so that it will become a nationwide draw. Anyway, that's my vision of it. As I said, we live only thirty miles from NYC and it has an unlimited number of potential attendees.

Thanks for the book again. I'm enjoying it immensely.



Hello Theodore,

Your call this morning was such a joy to my heart! Thank you for seeing that I have a perspective to share that some will (and do) find useful. Since JoAnn SkyWatcher is my Beloved wife and life partner, yes, I am quite familiar with EFT. She often speaks of little else. While tapping is not my thing, I find that using my own version often helps relieve physical and emotional pain and stress. I certainly appreciate how various healing modalities serve a wide variety of perspectives, and have often witnessed significant shifts in people JoAnn has worked with.

My particular focus these days seems to be with the heart and soul. Drunk with Wonder is my take on the 'isness" of how we got to this point in our evolutionary journey, and a vision of where our species might go as we continue our dance into the light that is already/always right here and right now. I hesitate to call anything I do "unique" simply because of my profound knowing that there is really only one One of us here. That said, I seem to have a particular facility with sitting in a group (or individually) and answering questions. My higher self especially enjoys the give and take such opportunities afford, and others in the group often seem to get a valuable (useful) perspective as well. Some call this activity Satsang, though I have no particular interest in the Guru story. My focus is on being a cheerleader for people who are ready to surrender into their own magnificence. There is nothing I have learned, nothing I am, that is not available to all. I am also comfortable speaking in front of groups (love it, actually), though creating experiential opportunities to "play" is even more fun. When I'm all of who I can be, I clearly "see" the Divine in everyone, and love nothing more than to radiate that Divinity as a loving mirror.

The devil, as they say, is in the details, and I have learned from my own life experience how deeply invested many of us become in our pathology (I'm wounded, therefore I am). With willing people, I am often able to help break through their stories of fear and lack and see the truth that they (and all of us!) are nothing less than divine, infinitely precious sparks of God/Goddess.

Of course, I imagine you're quite familiar with all of this. Every teacher, every visionary, and every cheerleader knows and teaches a version of this story. I trust that the perspective I have (and love!) to share will continue to be useful for some people. Personally, I know of no higher gift, or praise, than to be useful. JoAnn and I would love to talk about coming back east and spending time with you in whatever forum or symposium you may create. Sounds delightfully stimulating!

Theodore, I hope this email answers some of your questions. I look forward to hearing back from you, and learning your reaction as you read through Drunk with Wonder. My goal with the book was to take people on a journey of discovery. I hope you continue to enjoy the ride.

--
Blessings,

Steve Ryals

Is too much Testosterone a Terminal Illness?

So here we are in the twenty-first century. Sounds like a long time, doesn’t it? So much has happened. Certainly times and experiences have waxed and waned. So many families, children, laughter, terrified screams, unutterable joy, unimaginable savagery.

And we now know of at least sixty centuries of people building towns of cities, trading and competing for resources, going to war. Our ancestors, distant almost beyond imaging, were using fire around a million years ago. First the reptilian brain, then mammalian brain, were up and running. Then they learned how to cook meat, which gave them enough protein and fat for their brains to expand. A million years ago, they still had no prefrontal cortex, no language as we know it today. Our ancient ancestors explored their world, made simple tools like stone axes, and continued with no discernible evolution for hundreds of thousands of years.

Eventually, all the branches of human evolution died out, leaving us. Our curiosity, our cunning, our capacity for guile and treachery is legendary. It’s easy to see that our species, like those before us, has come to the end of how it’s been. Either we continue to adapt, radically adapt, or our species will go the way of our ancestor species. Flying into a psychotic rage and slaughtering others will no longer save us. Actually, there is some evidence to support the notion that our species continues to evolve, including the evolution of consciousness itself.

You see, in many ways our ancestors from 100,000 years ago were not that different from us. If we were to dress and groom them, they could walk down a crowded city street with barely a glance. For tens of thousands of years, most of our evolution for has been inside, in the development of our brains. There are many of us now who long for peace, who envision a world where everyone feels safe, loved, and celebrated. But those of us who choose peace have been at the mercy of those who choose war. One of the hallmarks of those who choose war is that they have no mercy. Blood lust is as real as sexual lust.

Studies show that high levels of testosterone do make it more likely that those men suffering from it will father more children, and seem to have some additional benefits. Yet we are now hearing that these high levels of testosterone are toxic to the individual as well as to the society in which they live (see article here). As a society, I believe we most find ways to harness and channel this energy in honoring, respectful ways that do NOT include war. Many of us, and more all the time, do not suffer from a surfeit of testosterone. We’re not hyper-competitive, we don’t need to be the best, the richest, the flashiest or the loudest. Yet we have a right to be, a right to live in peace and thrive.

There is an old adage that might makes right. Yet, when we look at our human history over the 8,000 years or so we’ve been keeping track, empires always fall. The center (of power) never holds. And now, with our ability to annihilate each other, to fish the oceans bare, create global warming, and continue to dither as the ruthless prey on the defenseless (Darfur), our species, considered the most adaptable in our long lineage, must adapt and evolve again if we are to survive in a meaningful way. When will we, as a species, wake up and see excessive testosterone as a terminal disease?