Where the Title Originated

Here is the poem in which I took the title for the book.

Drunk with Wonder

Drunk with wonder
I gaze at the wild,
Lustrous pearl
Of my personality
Shining in the center
Of the One Heart
Like a candle flame
In the heart of the sun
And know my Source
My Destination -
When I let go of knowing
I become the sun
Assume the crown
Of creation
And am Home –

Drunk with Anticipation

A number of people have expressed curiosity about the Drunk with Wonder title. I took Drunk with Wonder directly from the title of one of my poems, which I wrote a few years ago. The poem, along with about 20 others, appears in the book. I have used these poems as a way of presenting the material in a different light, or perspective.

I trace my use of the term directly the mystical Sufi tradition of Rumi and especially Hafiz, who lived many hundreds of years ago in what was then known as Persia, in what is now Iran. They wrote so passionately, so eloquently, about being, “Drunk on God, drunk with the Beloved,” that I, along with countless others over the centuries, have many time been reduced to tears of joy when reading their poetry.

Anyhow, this intense, juicy passion of my connection with God/Goddess (actually there is no separation at all, and never was) lives at the core of my spirituality. I see so clearly now that my decades of near-constant drug and alcohol use were not merely how I numbed out (though I did plenty of that). Occasionally, I glimpsed, as through antique glass, hints of an infinitely loving Presence. That’s what I wanted, what I longed for, to feel connected with Source in a continuous wave of Bliss and Joy. For the longest time, however, I was absolutely convinced that that the only way for me to “get there” was by using substances. Even 15 years ago, I would have howled with laughter at the thought that one day I would feel all of the joy I could ever have imagined, and much, much more, without “using” anything but my conscious awareness in each eternal moment. And yet, here I am, just another bliss bunny hanging out in this amazing circus we call life. What a long, strange trip it’s been…. Wahoo!!!

So now I live, at least a good part of the time, in wonder. Drunk with Wonder, to be precise; so present with my heart and the God I Am that a simple bird song can bring me to tears of joy. Yes, dear ones, this is an enormously vulnerable, tender, innocent place, and I know full well how scary this world can seem to that part of us. And yet … here I am, inviting all who would journey into the holy mystery of the present moment along for the ride, to become Drunk with Wonder and dance together as we howl at the moon. I promise it will not be boring.

Birthing the Book

My new book, Drunk with Wonder: Awakening to the God Within, is the final passage towards birth. I have selected McNaughton & Gunn, the distinguished printing company of Hay House Books (and many other publishers) to do the job. It feels like an immense blessing to have Drunk with Wonder printed on the same presses as Deepak Chopra, Wayne Dyer and other luminaries. It seems that I am only weeks away from having an actual, physical copy of the book in my hands and ready for sale. I am enormously excited, to say the least. I can barely contain my joy enough to type out these words, so, for just one moment, may I shout Yahoo!!! to the skies. It has been an epic journey for me, one spanning well over two years of focused work, and I feel so deeply Blessed to have come to this point … blessed and grateful, for I have received immense help from a number of people. I reprint the dedication from my book below:

I dedicate this book to my dear friend, Franklin Markowitz, who spent hundreds and hundreds of hours giving me his eagle-eyed editing and wise counsel. Your clarity and strength of vision permeate virtually every page. Thanks to your tireless efforts and your gentle coaching on using conscious language, this book has turned into something magical. My gratitude is boundless, my thanks a never-ending shower of love.

I also dedicate this book to my Beloved, JoAnn SkyWatcher, and to my family and friends. Your love, patience and incredible support are ample evidence of miracles on Earth. I also want to acknowledge the immense help of the Challenge Day community, particularly the founders, Yvonne and Rich Dutra-St John.

To Garvin Deshazer, who helped erect the skeleton and hugely supported me in the early stages.

To my sister Quana. You believed in my higher self long before I did.

To Marilyn Gordon. Without your help, my higher self may never have begun to speak. I still have all those early tapes!

And to Robert Frey, a dear friend and trusted mentor. I miss you.

I wish to extend my undying gratitude for the people who read the manuscript and offered a multitude of cogent and helpful suggestions: Kim Kakade, Christina Turnwall, Quana Ryals, Doug Waagen, Barbara Ryals (Mom), Scott Ryals, Eileen Peterson, Stacey Sheldon, Rev. Tanya Wyldflower, Barbara Gardner and Shirley Freriks. My heart overflows with gratitude!

Finally, to my father, Stanley Ryals. While we had some challenging times, in the end our love for each other won out. Thank you, Dad, for your unwavering love. I wish I could share this book with you. I think you would be very proud.

Spring?

It is true that it was in the 70s at the beginning of March, the week before I wrote this poem. Since then, it has snowed several times. I want to share a couple of photos that my wife, JoAnn, took after I wrote this poem. Today is the first “official” day of Spring, and we got a dusting of snow. It’s pretty unusual to get as much snow as we have gotten this late in the season (sigh). I am ready for Spring-like (or even better, actual, real Spring) days in the 70s.

If you really knew me, you would know that I am a weather freak. I enjoy recording our annual rainfall, and have been doing that for years. So far, since last July 1, we’ve had roughly 64” of rain. That’s almost 5 ½ FEET of rain in just over five months. No frickin’ wonder I’m ready for Spring!

It was in the 70s last week

It was in the 70s last week
Sky blue as robin’s eggs
Cherry blossoms bursting
Pink eye candy

Yesterday it snowed
Ice white clouds
Coating plum blossoms
In sparkling death shrouds

Daffodils struck down
Like innocent bystanders
At a terrorist’s convention
Fresh yellow petals frozen open

Winter’s savage grace
Dancing on the graves
Of the early risers

It’ll be in the 70s next week
The decaying daffodils
Will melt easily
In the hungry sun

Snow forgotten
Like Yesterday’s Tears

Steve Ryals

Color it Done

JoAnn asked me to write something about how I’m feeling now that Drunk with Wonder is finished. Not finished as in printed and available, but finished in that it’s at the indexer’s, and that the cover is finished, and that we have the ISBN number, and the Catalog in Publication data. No more re-writes, no more “let’s just add this piece,” we’re done.

Anyhow, I’m feeling into all that, and I guess part of me finds it hard to accept, as though I thought this was going to continue forever, safely cocooned in my shell of “I’m working on the book. It’ll be out, well, later – sometime soon – whenever.” That time, that “later” is now at hand. I have to birth this baby. I must color it done, call it a day, perhaps even call it a book.

While the “official” publication date is still some months away (perhaps August 1, maybe as late as September 1) the book will be available in E-Book format as soon as I integrate the index and order form into the back and set it up on a site that accepts payment via our PayPal account. I’m thinking that could happen by April 7^th. I hope to have the book to the printer by April 10^th, and in my hands by the first week of May. (We’ll see. I know only too well that nature sides with the hidden flaw, and that if you want to make the Goddess laugh you just tell Her your plans. Still….)

And I just realized that I’ve wondered off the subject at hand, which is how I’m feeling about all this. Well, like Bambi caught in the headlights, I guess. I’ve been so focused for so long (or so it seems) on one version or another of this project, I’m hearing this giant sucking sound, as though a black hole is coming to take me away. Hardly true, of course.

There are a million details still to sort out, marketing plans to hatch, a PR campaign, a study guide, yada yada. And still, knowing there is all this to do, I feel a bit like a boat adrift. This book has been my anchor, my “raison d’etra”, and now it’s time to let it go. So I’m giving myself permission to savor the moment, to say “Well done!” and feel the distinctly warm and cheery glow of accomplishment, of completion. And so it is….